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Two bits of eye candy (read semi-nude images) have come to light of late. One of a young and virile Junaid Jamshed of the Vital Sign heydays (the nineties) and second of the 61-year old cricketer turned politician turned protester, Imran Khan, circa 2014. Seeing the great shape IK is currently in, we’re just happy it wasn’t the other way around. We have seen and enjoyed many visual treats of the Captain’s youth but we have not and do not want to see a semi nude JJ of today. Judging by the thickness of his beard…oh forget it, let’s not judge and run the risk of being judged for whatever we say.

These pictures, however, have inspired other politicians and show hosts, who feel that they have been over-shadowed unnecessarily. The Sharif brothers, already living in the menacing shadow of TuQ have apparently not taken Imran Khan’s ‘morning jog’ video too well and have said that they too would have loved to jog around Model Town’s Inner Circle had TuQ and his cronies not caused so much havoc in the area. The younger Sharif, who also happens to be 62, also went on record to say that he looked better than Imran Khan without his shirt on but he was too modest to show his “abs of steel” to the world. Steel. Get it?

Additionally, photographer Khawar Riaz – who has worked on male models for over two decades now – saw IK’s tummy and claimed that he could have made Khan look much more chiseled and tanned had he been given a chance in the dark room. There’s nothing that a touch of Photoshop can’t fix.

Amir Liaqat, being the competitive and over-ambitious preacher that he is, saw Junaid Jamshed’s picture and said, “Mein bhi karoon ga.” Liaqat no doubt is in better shape than JJ these days (judging solely by the way in which he jogs and jumps around the sets) and now that the Holy month is over, he needs to find an occupation to keep himself busy (and rich) till next year. Solution: give away autographed, topless posters of himself with the prizes on his game show. “Yeh water cooler…aur sexy tasweer aap hi hui!”

(This spoof was published in Instep, August 11 2014)

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