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Let’s not waste any time in setting up the stage. Also, spoilers ahead!

The title

We do not understand why such a tragic, depressing, love-story-gone-terribly-wrong film would be called Zindagi Kitni Haseen Hay. Nothing about this couple’s life is beautiful. They put each other (and us) through hell throughout their marriage, and while the film ends on a positive note, it still doesn’t give us any indication that Zain (played by Feroze Khan) and Mahira (played by Sajal Aly) are going to get their s*** together. There are kidnappings, threats, goons, accidents, near death experiences- if this is a beautiful life, we can’t imagine what an ugly one would be. We can’t figure out whether the director was being ironic or hopeful.

The producer who acts a little strange around Mahira

So, after Mahira has decided to provide for her son on her own, she goes out looking for a job and meets a producer who is hell bent on getting high ratings by exploiting women and their tears. It’s an understatement to say that the producer (played by Alyy Khan) is drinking some kind of energy drink all the time as he is really high on energy and keeps grabbing Mahira by her face and shoulders very aggressively. He’s squeezing her cheeks and making her look into the distance, grabbing her shoulders and tugging her around. But not in a sleazy way. The weird part is that Mahira never protests these strange advances or thinks it’s inappropriate. But that could be because she’s become so used to all the pushing and pulling that happens with her at home.

This family bleeds pink blood

We noticed that one of the sponsors of the film is a very popular red drink that everyone drinks in Ramzan so we’re wondering if they donated their bottles to the production team to use as fake blood. There are instances where Zain is bleeding and it starts raining, and the blood on his shirt starts to turn pink. Even his son, Dodo (not the smartest name to give your kid) is in the hospital at some point and you can see his blood to be a very magenta shade of red.

Why is it always raining?

Karachi has it’s monsoon moments where it rains a lot but it’s pouring cats and dogs throughout the movie and we wonder what part of the country they’re in. Though there is a subtle metaphor of water and drowning in the film (where the child is making drawings that revolve around him drowning in water) so this could be about that. Still, the rain was overkill and totally washed us out! Actually we got soaked between the rain and tears.

The goons are dressed like modern day Western outlaws

Zain is being followed by goons who he owes money to. These goons, though providing comedic relief, are dressed in leather biker jackets and ripped jeans, wearing chains and dark shades, and they are elderly folks. Are we still in Pakistan? Why are these older dudes dressed like this?

These goons take off Zain’s shirt while fighting

They really have a perverse sense of torture because not only do they start beating up Zain in public, they also take off his shirt to add further humiliation. Zain then stays shirtless and manages to beat them all up, of course. The shirt had been holding him back this entire time so the joke’s on you, goons!

Why is everyone screaming all the time?

If you aren’t smiling, then you’re crying or screaming- this was the instruction given to the actors. And the screaming is rip-out-your-throat loud. It would have done them good to have a cough syrup as a sponsor because we’re pretty sure all the actors had bad throats after they were done with the shooting.

We, on the other hand, could do with a pain-killer. Or sedative. Or both.