Mind boggling fashion questions

There’s so much we love and savour about fashion and the industrious, colourful characters that it creates. Yet every now and then we encounter perplexing dilemmas, brain-twisters or the Rubic Cube of questions that we can find no plausible answer to. Here are the top five mind-boggling fashion questions that we all ask ourselves…

Why do designers show clothes that they can’t retail?

We all know that most designers design runway collections just for their ten seconds of fame or to impress the frowers with how well they can manufacture a deer’s head or a tin foil skirt or a paper mache gown. They’re hoping that their allotted ten seconds of fame will extend to endless publicity in newspapers, magazines and the all-forgiving social media. But maybe we should be asking why, in heaven’s name, do councils allow such designers to showcase their Utopian works of art that may only be available in mental bubbles hovering over their own heads? There are two types: one, who show decent collections but never manufacture them for sale and two, who show outrageous designs at ready to wear platforms (like fashion), making you wonder what the beeswax went wrong. We need to see less of these fictional works of fashion, please!

What is it with the PFDC and show timings?

Okay, so it’s no secret (not even a diplomatic one) that the Pakistan Fashion Design Council cannot manage show times effectively. In fact, the delays and extensions at any average PFDC fashion show are atrocious. One has seen shows carrying on into the wee hours of the next morning, safely after midnight. Only recently, the PFDC’s Crystal Couturiers drifted well past midnight. It’s a good thing the crystal was limited to clothes and not Cindarella’s shoes or else the ladies would have turned into pumpkins and chamber maids. Come to think of it, that is how many of them felt when the clock struck 12 and the show showed no signs of ending.

Why are models with belly fat allowed on the runway?

The average Pakistani model is over 35, has an average of 2.5 kids and has an uncomfortable amount of belly fat (and cellulite) that is more than visible when squeezed into mid-riff baring clothing. Now why would any council, designer or fashion show choreographer allow that? Agreed and understandable that good models are a limited species in Pakistan but can the auntie types please retire and/or search for a more acceptable (and less revealing) alternative profession now? There are some things that even the best Botox, tummy tuck or liposuction session won’t cover.

Why do designers plagiarize?

Let me re-phrase that. Why do top designers continue to plagiarize when they know that there’s a hawkish breed of bloggers waiting to pounce on the first hint of similarity with Balmain, Balenciaga, Elie Saab or Dolce & Gabbana? Designers always get caught out and yet they continue to copy, collection after collection. It would be much more honourable to mention the inspiration or dedicate their work to a certain international design house and save themselves the embarrassment that will inevitably follow them and haunt them when the ‘copy or inspiration’ stories emerge THE DAY AFTER. Save yourself the trauma, guys. We don’t live in the medieval age anymore. Information travels fast.

Why do PR agencies call all their clients ‘TOP’ designers?

Yeah, that is a tough one because we all know that publicists are supposed to promote their clients. But any press release announcing a show featuring “Pakistan’s top designers’ followed by a list of Pinkys, Bubblys, Tuttis and Fruitis immediately gets relegated to spam. Even a press release requires a basic need for honesty. And while we’re talking about PR agencies, any form of communication with incorrectly spelt names, incorrect grammar and incomprehensible English immediately gets trashed. Unfortunately there’s a good chance the client will meet the same fate.